I think every parent gets lost in a maze of guilt sometimes. I certainly do. The list of shoulds, of not enoughs, of weaknesses, of mistakes, traps you at every turn. Stuck in the maze of parenting guilt, it seems like the only way out is to be more, to be better, to be perfect, to cease making mistakes. But I guarantee that’s not the way out. If you follow that path you’ll only end up more lost than ever. Worse still, that path will lead you away from your child… You see, relationships don’t die from want of perfection. Relationships are not irreparably damaged by ordinary human error. In fact, relationships turn on a simple choice, made moment by moment, again and again, day after day: to show up or turn way? Show up or turn away? Your child doesn’t need you to be perfect. Your child needs you to show up — to show up, physically and psychologically, as the fallible, fault-ridden, imperfect human being that you are. To show up authentically, messily, making mistakes and slipping up again and again. Your child needs you to show up in their life and notice them. Notice your child as the fallible, fault-ridden, imperfect human that your child is and love them faults and all. And that’s the true path out of the maze.
Apply it to your life: When you are next lost in the maze of guilt can you choose to show up, as the imperfect human that you are, in your child’s life and love them?