I’m delighted to add new resources to my website: the self-compassion videos and tip sheet from the Mothercare studies. The Mothercare resources are for mothers of babies and they were developed by Dr James Kirby and Dr Stanley Steindl. They have been used in two studies, one a micro-RCT. In the RCT we found benefits […]
There is a classic Star Trek episode (The Enemy Within) in which a transporter malfunction causes Captain Kirk to split into two- a good Kirk and a bad Kirk. With all the darker aspects of his nature distilled out into a separate being, the good Kirk is unable to function. He is weak-willed, indecisive, and […]
Many parents feel bombarded by unwelcome criticism and judgment, from family, friends, professionals, even society at large. How can you learn to cope with criticism without destroying your own confidence or damaging your relationships with others? Firstly, remember that you are the parent. Whatever roles other people have in your child’s life, you are the […]
Everybody makes mistakes. Every parent makes mistakes. And they aren’t always little ones. So, how do you recover and move on when you recognise that you’ve stuffed up? Start by treating yourself with compassion. Recognise that you aren’t alone. You are an imperfect human being, just like the rest of us and we all stuff […]
So, here’s a confession: I have a nasty voice in my head. On a good day, the voice is just a bit picky and pushy, pointing out my mistakes and generally taking a pessimistic view of life. At its worst the voice is an out and out bully! And gosh, is she loud whenever something […]
Experiential acceptance, the ability to sit with difficult thoughts, feelings, sensations and memories, as they arise in the lived present moment, is a cornerstone of the latest psychological therapies such as Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Sometimes, within ACT, experiential acceptance is described as willingness, as in willingness to have difficult thoughts, feelings, sensations and […]
Human folly- it is everywhere! It can be frustrating to deal with the foolishness of others, to cope with their uninformed opinions and unsolicited, even cruel advice. The way that other people act towards us, or even simply how they act, can trigger feelings of embarrassment and humiliation. And then there’s our own folly! Parents […]
It frustrates me when I hear parental responsiveness being discussed as if responsiveness were a matter of following specific rules. This can make parents feel confused and guilty and it just isn’t correct. It also suggests that all responsive parent-child relationships look the same, when in fact, responsiveness is flexible and creative. Responsiveness is, by […]
To choose to have children is to accept the challenge of finding, within yourself, unconditional love. It is the challenge of accepting into your heart someone who could be anyone. It is the challenge of loving fully someone you could lose. Your children may come easily and quickly, or unexpectedly, or slowly and painfully and […]
Shame is that sinking feeling, which may be accompanied by sadness, fear, anger or disgust, along with a sense of your own unworthiness and lack of worth in the eyes of others. Shame is often accompanied by a tendency to behave in a submissive way, that is, a shamed person is likely to try to […]