Within Western cultures, self-sufficiency is highly prized. When we talk about children we talk of self-regulation, self-settling, and independence. And when we say, ‘independence’ in reference to children we almost always mean that the children are self-sufficient rather than autonomous. In terms of emotions, there’s a persistent cultural tendency to believe that the earlier children […]
Labels are double-edged swords. Smart. Autistic. Sensitive. Athletic. Slow. Homosexual. Female. Depressed. Disabled. Emotional. Advanced. Beautiful. Anxious. Straight. Introverted. Charming. Hyper. Macho. ADHD. Cute. Difficult. I could go on and on. There are so many words that we can use to describe ourselves and other people. On the one hand, these words can be incredibly […]
I really hate the date night solution: the idea that you keep a relationship happy and healthy through regular date nights. Okay, so don’t get me wrong. I don’t think there’s anything remotely wrong with a couple organising a babysitter and going out to a restaurant or a movie for the evening. If you manage […]
We have a tendency to make one big mistake when it comes to managing stress: we look inside ourselves. Basically, we think, ‘hmm… I don’t like this feeling of stress, how can I make it go away? How can I change my thoughts and feelings and take away this stress?’ And all that trying to […]
You may have heard that when your child is distressed you should be responsive: responding in a compassionate and caring way. You may also have heard that you should reflect back to your child their feelings or their desire (‘you are feeling sad’ or ‘you’d really like that ice-cream’) and problem-solving the situation with your […]
I’ve heard it said, a number of times now, that the grief mothers commonly experience after a first trimester loss wasn’t felt by generations of women gone by. In fact, I’ve heard it said that pregnancy tests and ultrasound scans have created first trimester miscarriage as a loss experience. That women bond earlier because of […]
We all know that we should be reading to our children from an early age in order to foster literacy and grow a life-long love of the written word in our children. But numeracy and a life-long love of mathematics is arguably just as crucial to our children’s later success. In fact, as digital natives, […]
Everyone knows that parents need to be consistent. But what exactly does being consistent mean? The trouble is the word ‘consistent’ conjures up images of parents rigidly acting in the exact same way, following exactly the same detailed rules, inflexibly sticking to the same script day after day. It suggests that one deviation, on one […]
Ever been in one of those moments that renders you speechless? Perhaps something tragic and unexpected happened to someone you know. You watched the horror unfold. You searched desperately for the right words and just couldn’t find them. Or maybe you weren’t on the sidelines watching the horror unfold, maybe the loss was yours too. […]
As a behaviour change tool, punishment has its limitations. Before I tell you why I need to bore you with some technical definitions. The word punishment usually means a penalty or a negative experience imposed on someone when they are guilty of wrong doing. Within behavioural science, punishment is a technical term meaning any event […]