Building a loving, responsive relationship.
I’m delighted to add new resources to my website: the self-compassion videos and tip sheet from the Mothercare studies. The Mothercare resources are for mothers of babies and they were developed by Dr James Kirby and Dr Stanley Steindl. They have been used in two studies, one a micro-RCT. In the RCT we found benefits […]
Good parenting is an artful mix of loving, responsive, sensitive caregiving on one hand, and discipline, raising expectations and teaching new skills on the other. Both are needed. Many of our stuff ups as parents can be understood as getting the mix wrong. Maybe we realise that we expected far too much of our child […]
I’m currently participating in a series of podcast interviews with Nicky from Practical Research Parenting. The latest podcast is part two of the Possums Sleep Intervention. During this podcast, I discuss the new approach to parent-infant sleep that I developed working with Dr Pamela Douglas, and that is in use at the Possums Clinic. You […]
One of the most incredible and unique aspects of being a parent, just at this point in human history, is the fact that we are saturated with parenting rules. One hundred years ago, parents may have received advice from their own family, their neighbour, and their local doctor or nurse. Nowadays the shoulds of parenting […]
Within Western cultures, self-sufficiency is highly prized. When we talk about children we talk of self-regulation, self-settling, and independence. And when we say, ‘independence’ in reference to children we almost always mean that the children are self-sufficient rather than autonomous. In terms of emotions, there’s a persistent cultural tendency to believe that the earlier children […]
You may have heard that when your child is distressed you should be responsive: responding in a compassionate and caring way. You may also have heard that you should reflect back to your child their feelings or their desire (‘you are feeling sad’ or ‘you’d really like that ice-cream’) and problem-solving the situation with your […]
Ever been in one of those moments that renders you speechless? Perhaps something tragic and unexpected happened to someone you know. You watched the horror unfold. You searched desperately for the right words and just couldn’t find them. Or maybe you weren’t on the sidelines watching the horror unfold, maybe the loss was yours too. […]
It frustrates me when I hear parental responsiveness being discussed as if responsiveness were a matter of following specific rules. This can make parents feel confused and guilty and it just isn’t correct. It also suggests that all responsive parent-child relationships look the same, when in fact, responsiveness is flexible and creative. Responsiveness is, by […]
Responsive parenting series part 3 This post is the third of a three part series on responsive parenting. Responsive parenting, in a nutshell, means parenting that is responsive to the signals or cues of your child. It is warm, caring and on cue. Responsiveness is often understood within an attachment theory framework (responsive parenting predicts […]
Responsive parenting series part 2 This post is the second of a three part series on responsive parenting. Responsive parenting, in a nutshell, means parenting that is responsive to the signals or cues of your child. It is warm, caring and on cue. Responsiveness is often understood within an attachment theory framework (responsive parenting predicts […]